Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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