you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
