there was a trapeze. enough said
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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