so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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