First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
