Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
