the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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