i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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