i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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