I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
