You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
