did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
