I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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