Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
