The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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