We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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