so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
