Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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