I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We got so high we made milksteak
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
