I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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