My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
