she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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