just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
