I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize