Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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