hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The air taste purple.
Randomize
