We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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