This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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