S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
