I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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