11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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