i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
