I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
