you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
