i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Sacagawea was the original milf.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
