69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
