kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize