Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
