i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
