Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
