Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
