At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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