i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
