This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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