just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
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My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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