She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
