Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
