you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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