yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
