sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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