it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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