And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
