so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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