I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
