If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
