Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
