i may or may not be watching the land before time
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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