what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
