can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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