we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize