Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dicks are not precious.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
