Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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