Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
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Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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