I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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